Semi-friendslocked as of today, for too much angst. Angst is good for the poster, not for the reader.
More normal entries will, however, be unlocked.
Also, Allelujah and Lockon (and Haro) fans are especially welcome for random fangirling/fanboying.
My AY09/10 Semester 1 timetable = OFFICIAL HATE. On Tuesdays. And Mondays, sorta.
( I can slack off during odd weeks and die over and over again on even weeks. )
I HATE EVEN WEEK TUESDAYS. There's DB land training right after the history lecture. Which means I'll be in school from 8 am to 8.30 pm. With two two-hour breaks. And I'll have to fight with both the morning and night bus crowds. Tuesday shall officially become breaks-at-Yusof-Ishak-House day, I totally love the canteen and study areas (and there's Subway!).
The Extended Weekends are a bonus though, no lessons on Fridays and only one evening lecture on Mondays. :D :D :D Although it's kind of dumb to spend more time travelling than in class on Mondays.
I should be reading my psychology textbook. Biopsychology is soooo freaking boring. Hello, even the research methodology chapter was better.
I. Have. No. Aptitude. For. Science.
It's only Week 2 of Semester 1 of Academic Year 1 and I'm already feeling the stress of the workload. D:
Oh well. Back to work now. MUGMUGMUG for first-class honours!
( I can slack off during odd weeks and die over and over again on even weeks. )
I HATE EVEN WEEK TUESDAYS. There's DB land training right after the history lecture. Which means I'll be in school from 8 am to 8.30 pm. With two two-hour breaks. And I'll have to fight with both the morning and night bus crowds. Tuesday shall officially become breaks-at-Yusof-Ishak-House day, I totally love the canteen and study areas (and there's Subway!).
The Extended Weekends are a bonus though, no lessons on Fridays and only one evening lecture on Mondays. :D :D :D Although it's kind of dumb to spend more time travelling than in class on Mondays.
I should be reading my psychology textbook. Biopsychology is soooo freaking boring. Hello, even the research methodology chapter was better.
I. Have. No. Aptitude. For. Science.
It's only Week 2 of Semester 1 of Academic Year 1 and I'm already feeling the stress of the workload. D:
Oh well. Back to work now. MUGMUGMUG for first-class honours!
Because bored people do stupid things. Like stealing memes.
ABC About You Questions
A - AVAILABLE: No, and will never be.
B - BIRTHDAY: 27011990
C - CRUSHIN' ON: No one.
D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Water.
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: Myself.
F - FAVORITE SONG: 'Wana' by The Back Horn, ending theme from Gundam 00
G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: Bears.
H - HOMETOWN: Singapore.
I - IN LOVE WITH: Money, luxury residences and expensive cars.
J - JUGGLE: When I have work to do.
K - KILLED SOMEONE: Never have, never will.
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: Can't remember. Driving lessons are pretty long, though.
M- MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Hate milkshakes.
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: One.
O - ONE WISH: Infinite supply of $$$.
P - PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: Er. Can't remember. I SMS, I don't call.
R - REASON TO SMILE: Having lots of $$$.
S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: 'Welcome to The Black Parade' by My Chemical Romance. On my phone while travelling.
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: Today? 3.50 am. And couldn't go back to sleep.
U - UNDERWEAR COLOR/PATTERN: ... (No, not polka dots.)
W - WORST HABIT: Eating and sleeping at the oddest hours.
X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: For university medical checkup; at the dentist's for braces.
Y – YOYOS ARE: Stupid.
Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Pisces.
Alright off to my evening run. Bye.
ABC About You Questions
A - AVAILABLE: No, and will never be.
B - BIRTHDAY: 27011990
C - CRUSHIN' ON: No one.
D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Water.
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: Myself.
F - FAVORITE SONG: 'Wana' by The Back Horn, ending theme from Gundam 00
G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: Bears.
H - HOMETOWN: Singapore.
I - IN LOVE WITH: Money, luxury residences and expensive cars.
J - JUGGLE: When I have work to do.
K - KILLED SOMEONE: Never have, never will.
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: Can't remember. Driving lessons are pretty long, though.
M- MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Hate milkshakes.
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: One.
O - ONE WISH: Infinite supply of $$$.
P - PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: Er. Can't remember. I SMS, I don't call.
R - REASON TO SMILE: Having lots of $$$.
S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: 'Welcome to The Black Parade' by My Chemical Romance. On my phone while travelling.
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: Today? 3.50 am. And couldn't go back to sleep.
U - UNDERWEAR COLOR/PATTERN: ... (No, not polka dots.)
W - WORST HABIT: Eating and sleeping at the oddest hours.
X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: For university medical checkup; at the dentist's for braces.
Y – YOYOS ARE: Stupid.
Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Pisces.
Alright off to my evening run. Bye.
I think my instructor nearly had a heart attack today when I drove too fast through a winding road and almost crashed the car. Hahahahaha.
Hmmm but today's session was quite stressful, alot more difficult turns and plenty of traffic junctions. And I don't like the fact that the accelerating and braking mechanisms feel very different in the Civic and the City. Honda, oh Honda, why don't you be more consistent! ):
Oh well. Driving is fun, sort of.
Hmmm but today's session was quite stressful, alot more difficult turns and plenty of traffic junctions. And I don't like the fact that the accelerating and braking mechanisms feel very different in the Civic and the City. Honda, oh Honda, why don't you be more consistent! ):
Oh well. Driving is fun, sort of.
I should start exercising more. Increase the intensity of my regime. Running no longer seems to be very effective in helping me lose weight/become fitter even when I've increased the distance by more than twice since I started.
Sigh.
I've hit a plateau. ):
This sucks.
Now I REALLY can't wait to get to university and pick up a sports CCA.
Sigh.
I've hit a plateau. ):
This sucks.
Now I REALLY can't wait to get to university and pick up a sports CCA.
DAMN THE BLASTED BUS SERVICE 174!
Today, it took 30 bloody minutes to come. AT PEAK HOUR. The queue had already snaked way past the floor markings and the bus wasn't here yet and me and my bus-waiting-neighbour (a total stranger) were complaining to each other about how dumb 174 is. And every person in the queue was looking increasingly pissed off and the bus still hadn't arrived.
174 is a bloody stupid bus.
And on the way home, it had to RAIN and TV Mobile was playingMY ALL TIME FAVOURITE SHOW, The Little Nyonya. OF ALL DAMN THINGS.
Thanks, SBS. You totally made my day.
I think my newfound ambition is to be Minister of Transport/Chairman of the PTC so that I can impose my authoritarian invisible hand prowress over all stupid bus services in the country and make them come every five minutes.
Today, it took 30 bloody minutes to come. AT PEAK HOUR. The queue had already snaked way past the floor markings and the bus wasn't here yet and me and my bus-waiting-neighbour (a total stranger) were complaining to each other about how dumb 174 is. And every person in the queue was looking increasingly pissed off and the bus still hadn't arrived.
174 is a bloody stupid bus.
And on the way home, it had to RAIN and TV Mobile was playing
Thanks, SBS. You totally made my day.
I think my newfound ambition is to be Minister of Transport/Chairman of the PTC so that I can impose my authoritarian invisible hand prowress over all stupid bus services in the country and make them come every five minutes.
One fine day, before I become as old as MM Lee is now, I'll die of eating food that start with C.
Seriously.
I have an extremely unhealthy addiction to chicken and chocolate at the moment - I'm eating both every frickin' day. YES. I actually had chicken for both lunch and dinner on Saturday and Sunday. And KFC for lunch today. D:
Chips I indulge in once in a while - Ruffles Cheddar and Sour Cream is the bomb. ♥ (See, cheese! ._.)
And cheese always finds its way onto my pizza slices and pasta. Loads and loads of cheese powder. And cheese fries? KFC's best invention next to the Zinger.
Surprisingly, I AM LOSING WEIGHT. :D :D :D Hehe. Running is good. My dad, on the other hand, eats much less crap but is extremely flabby, pale and unhealthy. To the heck with carcinogens and fats and sodium and whatever crap there is in the junk I eat. Life is short. I shall eat what I want.
If I die early, I hope people come to my funeral. And don't worry, there won't be chicken, chocolate, chips, or cheese. Only wholesome, healthy fruits and veggies. (:
Seriously.
I have an extremely unhealthy addiction to chicken and chocolate at the moment - I'm eating both every frickin' day. YES. I actually had chicken for both lunch and dinner on Saturday and Sunday. And KFC for lunch today. D:
Chips I indulge in once in a while - Ruffles Cheddar and Sour Cream is the bomb. ♥ (See, cheese! ._.)
And cheese always finds its way onto my pizza slices and pasta. Loads and loads of cheese powder. And cheese fries? KFC's best invention next to the Zinger.
Surprisingly, I AM LOSING WEIGHT. :D :D :D Hehe. Running is good. My dad, on the other hand, eats much less crap but is extremely flabby, pale and unhealthy. To the heck with carcinogens and fats and sodium and whatever crap there is in the junk I eat. Life is short. I shall eat what I want.
If I die early, I hope people come to my funeral. And don't worry, there won't be chicken, chocolate, chips, or cheese. Only wholesome, healthy fruits and veggies. (:
Anyone interested in picking up boxing (the real thing, not kickboxing or anything less) within the next couple of years, please tell me. I want a buddy. :p And won't worry, I am not a violent girl. :D
Or if you could introduce me to another equally exciting sport, please do. (:
Oh freak. There's this annoying spot on my back that hurts like crap (okay, not really). It's like...behind my right lung and...somewhere near the back of the ribcage? IDK. BUT IT IS EXTREMELY IRRITATING.
It hurts in sharp bursts when I cough, blow my nose, breathe deeply, or move my right shoulder joint vigourously/very hard when I'm running. But it's fine when I, umm, just move around a little? Or even when I swing my arm, it barely hurts. Neither does it hurt when poked. Okay. But it's throbbing away now. D:
Pulled muscle? Fractured rib? Lung tumour?
None of them sound very appealing.
Sigh. Stupid spot-on-my-back. Stop it or I can't sleep properly at night. D:
Wear off soon, please. Don't want to spend money getting it checked out. But then again, I never get any of my joint problems/injuries checked out, so now I'm suffering the consequences of joint problems. Arthritis! Rheumatism! My problem joints actually ache when the weather is cold. Niiiiiice.
And I'm only 19...not 91. ): Argh. Stupid joints.
It hurts in sharp bursts when I cough, blow my nose, breathe deeply, or move my right shoulder joint vigourously/very hard when I'm running. But it's fine when I, umm, just move around a little? Or even when I swing my arm, it barely hurts. Neither does it hurt when poked. Okay. But it's throbbing away now. D:
Pulled muscle? Fractured rib? Lung tumour?
None of them sound very appealing.
Sigh. Stupid spot-on-my-back. Stop it or I can't sleep properly at night. D:
Wear off soon, please. Don't want to spend money getting it checked out. But then again, I never get any of my joint problems/injuries checked out, so now I'm suffering the consequences of joint problems. Arthritis! Rheumatism! My problem joints actually ache when the weather is cold. Niiiiiice.
And I'm only 19...not 91. ): Argh. Stupid joints.
Today I heard this really amusing conversation on board the MRT after my interview. These people were colleagues, presumably, standing next to me.
*MRT stalls in tunnel between Novena and Newton stations, for about 5 minutes*
Guy 1: We should have taken the next train!
Guy 2 and Woman: (stunned silence)
Guy 2: The next train would have been stuck behind this one also what...
Woman: Yeah lor, use your common sense lah.
Guy 1: (paiseh)...aiyah, who knows, maybe they got some secret hidden tunnel what!
Haha that totally made my day. Met Shauna at Dhoby Ghaut after that and had lunch at Cafe Cartel, the baked chicken spaghetti set lunch was quite nice. :D Then it was back to Ruffles Insteetushun with Char and we talked to some of the teachers. Quite a fun day overall. And the interview was actually pretty okay.
Now to freak out over the major one next week. D:
*MRT stalls in tunnel between Novena and Newton stations, for about 5 minutes*
Guy 1: We should have taken the next train!
Guy 2 and Woman: (stunned silence)
Guy 2: The next train would have been stuck behind this one also what...
Woman: Yeah lor, use your common sense lah.
Guy 1: (paiseh)...aiyah, who knows, maybe they got some secret hidden tunnel what!
Haha that totally made my day. Met Shauna at Dhoby Ghaut after that and had lunch at Cafe Cartel, the baked chicken spaghetti set lunch was quite nice. :D Then it was back to Ruffles Insteetushun with Char and we talked to some of the teachers. Quite a fun day overall. And the interview was actually pretty okay.
Now to freak out over the major one next week. D:
What a surprise man.
Hahahaha. The M&M's rock. (: Maybe Mas Selamat's re-capture brought me good luck, since he escaped on my birthday last year. :D A strange coincidence occured today. And it was pretty funny. Ask me about it if you want. And yes, it has to do with Mas Selamat.
Oh well. I am extremely unprepared. ): Arghhhhh.
I'm scared and nervous. D:
Hahahaha. The M&M's rock. (: Maybe Mas Selamat's re-capture brought me good luck, since he escaped on my birthday last year. :D A strange coincidence occured today. And it was pretty funny. Ask me about it if you want. And yes, it has to do with Mas Selamat.
Oh well. I am extremely unprepared. ): Arghhhhh.
I'm scared and nervous. D:
Labour Day was fun. Haven't been to Sentosa in forever.
I have very badly sunburned shoulders now. And strange ugly little white bumps are sprouting up on the burnt areas. Ew.
I think one day I'll die of skin cancer from spending so much time in the sun without sublock. Or heatstroke from never drinking enough water even after running. Or stomach cancer from drinking at least 3 cups of strong coffee/tea per day. Or caffeine poisoning. Or a brain tumour from chronic insomnia. Or maybe I'll just slip on the toilet floor, whack my head on the sink and die from a haemorrhage.
(FYI, I'm extremely prone to slipping on toilet floors.)
Lalalala. My foot hurts. I need to lose weight to put less pressure on my poor joints which have suffered much. I have developed creaky ankles as of today, on top of creaky knees, elbows and shoulders. Wonderful.
I have very badly sunburned shoulders now. And strange ugly little white bumps are sprouting up on the burnt areas. Ew.
I think one day I'll die of skin cancer from spending so much time in the sun without sublock. Or heatstroke from never drinking enough water even after running. Or stomach cancer from drinking at least 3 cups of strong coffee/tea per day. Or caffeine poisoning. Or a brain tumour from chronic insomnia. Or maybe I'll just slip on the toilet floor, whack my head on the sink and die from a haemorrhage.
(FYI, I'm extremely prone to slipping on toilet floors.)
Lalalala. My foot hurts. I need to lose weight to put less pressure on my poor joints which have suffered much. I have developed creaky ankles as of today, on top of creaky knees, elbows and shoulders. Wonderful.
The water from the water cooler at my workplace has the fascinating ability to remain cold for a very long time at Singapore room/outdoors temperature (ie. no aircon, no fan).
I always fill my bottle at about 5.30 pm before I leave. Then I walk in the hot pre-evening weather to the MRT station, and wait at the interchange. By the time the bus comes, it is 6.05 pm. Then the bus ride home isn't excatly cold either. Then I walk home from the bus stop, change, and go for a run around the estate; during which my bag is in my very tiny room at a temperature of more than 30oC. By the time I come back and drink water, it is 7.30 pm, two hours after I filled up my bottle, and the water is still cold.
Either the water at my workplace comes from a specially engineered cooler that they made themselves, or my bag is a very good insulator of heat. Or maybe they trapped Iceman in the water cooler.
Very cool (pun intended).
Watched Star Awards yesterday; happy for those who deserved to win and had won, slightly pissed/disappointed/annoyed about those who didn't deserve to win but did.
Oh well. Life is unfair.
Someone give me an Allelujah Haptism (action) figure to cuddle to sleep.
I always fill my bottle at about 5.30 pm before I leave. Then I walk in the hot pre-evening weather to the MRT station, and wait at the interchange. By the time the bus comes, it is 6.05 pm. Then the bus ride home isn't excatly cold either. Then I walk home from the bus stop, change, and go for a run around the estate; during which my bag is in my very tiny room at a temperature of more than 30oC. By the time I come back and drink water, it is 7.30 pm, two hours after I filled up my bottle, and the water is still cold.
Either the water at my workplace comes from a specially engineered cooler that they made themselves, or my bag is a very good insulator of heat. Or maybe they trapped Iceman in the water cooler.
Very cool (pun intended).
Watched Star Awards yesterday; happy for those who deserved to win and had won, slightly pissed/disappointed/annoyed about those who didn't deserve to win but did.
Oh well. Life is unfair.
Someone give me an Allelujah Haptism (action) figure to cuddle to sleep.
Made my first pleasure purchase (excluding food) on Thursday with my first pay! :D :D :D Oh, and this should be the first unlocked entry since I locked my journal, I think.
( I...AM...GUNDAM!!! )
Gundam models are fun.
( I...AM...GUNDAM!!! )
Gundam models are fun.
ARGHHHH STUPID INCONSIDERATE PEOPLE ON THE BUS DRIVE ME CRAZY.
Let me re-tell the epic story of Annoying Woman On Board 6.00 pm Bus 174 Today (aka. AWOBB174).
1. Smint gets on bus. Bus is crowded. People are standing shoulder-to-shoulder.
2. Smint stands in the middle of the bus, on the raised platform you see in the new buses.
3. AWOBB174 gets on a few stops from interchange.
4. AWOBB174 proceeds to squeeze her way through 1000000 people and, of all places, chose to squeeze right behind poor Smint, in the aisle that is built in such a way that it can accomodate only the thicknesses of 1.33333 persons (and a bag), unless you are fat. This woman has about 25205683406 shopping bags, 99% of which were digging trenches in Smint's back and reaching her kidneys.
5. Smint is reduced to the thickness of tissue paper, and has to move such that her feet are hanging off the edge of the step, in order to prevent further damage to her organs due to AWOBB174's bags, which by this time had reached her liver.
6. Fortunately, Smint used to be in LD and has strong arms (actually, it was one arm) that prevented her from falling epically to her death when the bus jerked (which happened 4235986 times throughout the journey).
7. Guy in front of Smint on the seat gets up, and points at the seat for her to sit.
8. AWOBB174 plonks herself down onto the seat by once more wedging herself into narrow spaces near Smint.
9. Bus becomes relatively empty. Aisles are clear (this is a very important point for the later part of the story).
10. Somewhere in Bukit Batok, the guy next to AWOBB174 in the window seat wants to get off.
11. Normal people will turn their bodies and legs toward the aisle to let window-seat-person out. But AWOBB174, who's in the aisle seat (and apparently not normal), merely TUCKS HER FEET UNDER THE SEAT (see important point in #9).
12. This leaves a 1.00000001 mm gap between AWOBB174's knees and the panel that separates the middle door from the seats behind.
13. Poor guy (who's of average guy build) has to hurdle over AWOBB174's knees to get out of his seat.
14. Smint wants to laugh, because, well, it is kind of funny, if you think about it.
I DO NOT WANT TO MEET ANYMORE AWOBB174s. THANK YOU. And she nearly killed me, too.
Oh, and the Pesticide-free Shooting Carrots actually replied to my second email. Wonderful. Hopefully I can get past that first round. (: God will make it happen.
And I want to eat chocolate. ):
Let me re-tell the epic story of Annoying Woman On Board 6.00 pm Bus 174 Today (aka. AWOBB174).
1. Smint gets on bus. Bus is crowded. People are standing shoulder-to-shoulder.
2. Smint stands in the middle of the bus, on the raised platform you see in the new buses.
3. AWOBB174 gets on a few stops from interchange.
4. AWOBB174 proceeds to squeeze her way through 1000000 people and, of all places, chose to squeeze right behind poor Smint, in the aisle that is built in such a way that it can accomodate only the thicknesses of 1.33333 persons (and a bag), unless you are fat. This woman has about 25205683406 shopping bags, 99% of which were digging trenches in Smint's back and reaching her kidneys.
5. Smint is reduced to the thickness of tissue paper, and has to move such that her feet are hanging off the edge of the step, in order to prevent further damage to her organs due to AWOBB174's bags, which by this time had reached her liver.
6. Fortunately, Smint used to be in LD and has strong arms (actually, it was one arm) that prevented her from falling epically to her death when the bus jerked (which happened 4235986 times throughout the journey).
7. Guy in front of Smint on the seat gets up, and points at the seat for her to sit.
8. AWOBB174 plonks herself down onto the seat by once more wedging herself into narrow spaces near Smint.
9. Bus becomes relatively empty. Aisles are clear (this is a very important point for the later part of the story).
10. Somewhere in Bukit Batok, the guy next to AWOBB174 in the window seat wants to get off.
11. Normal people will turn their bodies and legs toward the aisle to let window-seat-person out. But AWOBB174, who's in the aisle seat (and apparently not normal), merely TUCKS HER FEET UNDER THE SEAT (see important point in #9).
12. This leaves a 1.00000001 mm gap between AWOBB174's knees and the panel that separates the middle door from the seats behind.
13. Poor guy (who's of average guy build) has to hurdle over AWOBB174's knees to get out of his seat.
14. Smint wants to laugh, because, well, it is kind of funny, if you think about it.
I DO NOT WANT TO MEET ANYMORE AWOBB174s. THANK YOU. And she nearly killed me, too.
Oh, and the Pesticide-free Shooting Carrots actually replied to my second email. Wonderful. Hopefully I can get past that first round. (: God will make it happen.
And I want to eat chocolate. ):
I keep telling myself: don't worry about it, it's enough.
It's enough, it's enough, it's enough. God will make things right. Everything will be fine. All I have to do is believe.
And I'll be happy when it comes.
I realise I've come to fear rejection. Not really by society or by the people around me or whatever, but by formal groups/organisations/etc. that I've always wanted to be in.
But I guess rejection is part and parcel of life. And we've just got to roll with the punches.
It's enough, it's enough, it's enough. God will make things right. Everything will be fine. All I have to do is believe.
And I'll be happy when it comes.
I realise I've come to fear rejection. Not really by society or by the people around me or whatever, but by formal groups/organisations/etc. that I've always wanted to be in.
But I guess rejection is part and parcel of life. And we've just got to roll with the punches.
I am tired. I miss having a good night's sleep. Believe it or not, the last really good sleep I had was the night before the release of the A-level results. I think God gave me the peace of mind that night. (: He works in such subtle little ways that sometimes you don't feel it, but when you think back, hey, it's amazing how He does these small things for us to let us know that He's always there.
Anyway, working is definitely getting more and more tiring. It's repetitive and monotonous, and half the time I'm caught between different people, and the other half, I'm scared of screwing something up. It's kind of frustrating, but I guess I'm going to get through it. I recently decided that whatever happens, I'll assume that it happens for a reason, and take it all my stride. After coursework, nothing much fazes me anymore. Heh. That was how burdensome coursework was.
I miss my carefree (sort of) JC days. Even the Bandung Study Club days, the last month before the A-levels. Back then, all we had to do was study. Now, there's work, university, and the future to worry about. Although it's pretty much useless worry about such things, because you'll just stress yourself out.
Why is it that we spend 90% of our entire lives working so hard? It started as early as primary school, and doesn't end until you die. School, work, bills, taxes, payments, loans, the economy...and family. It's a bit of a wonder how most of us can stay sane. And isn't it ironic that what keeps us sane is, more often than not, work? Why must the world be so competitive? Why must we all push ourselves so hard, just to make a living?
Why can't we all share resources? Eliminate the competition for prestige, power, and wealth.
I guess without competition, people won't strive to be the best, and there won't be progress. But then again, in a better world, people may just do great things for the good of society. I mean, Thomas Edison invented the electric lightbulb not because he wanted to be the number one scientist, but because he wanted the streets at night to be lit.
The human psyche is so fascinating. I don't think there's any other course I'm as interested in as psychology. And I truly hope to be able to fulfill my #1 goal in life - to wear that blue uniform.
Anyway, working is definitely getting more and more tiring. It's repetitive and monotonous, and half the time I'm caught between different people, and the other half, I'm scared of screwing something up. It's kind of frustrating, but I guess I'm going to get through it. I recently decided that whatever happens, I'll assume that it happens for a reason, and take it all my stride. After coursework, nothing much fazes me anymore. Heh. That was how burdensome coursework was.
I miss my carefree (sort of) JC days. Even the Bandung Study Club days, the last month before the A-levels. Back then, all we had to do was study. Now, there's work, university, and the future to worry about. Although it's pretty much useless worry about such things, because you'll just stress yourself out.
Why is it that we spend 90% of our entire lives working so hard? It started as early as primary school, and doesn't end until you die. School, work, bills, taxes, payments, loans, the economy...and family. It's a bit of a wonder how most of us can stay sane. And isn't it ironic that what keeps us sane is, more often than not, work? Why must the world be so competitive? Why must we all push ourselves so hard, just to make a living?
Why can't we all share resources? Eliminate the competition for prestige, power, and wealth.
I guess without competition, people won't strive to be the best, and there won't be progress. But then again, in a better world, people may just do great things for the good of society. I mean, Thomas Edison invented the electric lightbulb not because he wanted to be the number one scientist, but because he wanted the streets at night to be lit.
The human psyche is so fascinating. I don't think there's any other course I'm as interested in as psychology. And I truly hope to be able to fulfill my #1 goal in life - to wear that blue uniform.
Dinner with CY today (Pastamania!) went just as perfectly normal as any meal with CY gets. There was a lot of complaining (about our jobs, and about university/scholarship applications) and laughing (I have no idea over what, really), and just lots of silliness in general. Rampaged McDonald's, and it was a wonder they didn't remember us from last time with the lion dancers, and didn't throw us out.
I'm bored. Still deciding whether to apply for NUS scholarships and USP. The forms are so hard to fill because they ask for such, well, elitist things. The essay questions are stupid too. D:
I wonder about university life every single day. Looking forward to the campus life, but definitely not the studying. I guess I just have to grit my teeth through the four years if I want to do well. I need to stop slacking.
I need to stop worrying about what's going to happen in the future. Whatever's done is done and however it's going to affect the future, I can't change it. I can only help the process by doing what I should in the present.
It really is difficult to make such important decisions when you're 19. You've experienced nothing but studying, and more studying, and maybe a bit of working. You've got no idea how you're taxed, how the government really works, how the real working world is like. You know practically nothing. All you know is that 1 plus 1 gives 2, sodium chloride is table salt (sort of), Singapore became independent in 1965, that sort of thing.
It's so purely academic that it's scary. This is not the knowledge you need to have to survive in society. Sure, if you're an A*STAR scholar or whatever, being smart is good because you're among the top at the workplace. But how far does it really get you in life? Academic smarts definitely aren't everything. CY and I talked about this today. Our education system has produced good results, but the process simply sucks because of how rigid (and torturous) it is.
I'm sick and tired of a society that's so bent on qualifications. I'm tired of having to work so hard academically, only to throw it all away because, in the end, it's not needed. I guess I really want to make good my choices in university, really pursue my interests, and better understand everything around me.
31st March. Still waiting. Still dreading.
I'm bored. Still deciding whether to apply for NUS scholarships and USP. The forms are so hard to fill because they ask for such, well, elitist things. The essay questions are stupid too. D:
I wonder about university life every single day. Looking forward to the campus life, but definitely not the studying. I guess I just have to grit my teeth through the four years if I want to do well. I need to stop slacking.
I need to stop worrying about what's going to happen in the future. Whatever's done is done and however it's going to affect the future, I can't change it. I can only help the process by doing what I should in the present.
It really is difficult to make such important decisions when you're 19. You've experienced nothing but studying, and more studying, and maybe a bit of working. You've got no idea how you're taxed, how the government really works, how the real working world is like. You know practically nothing. All you know is that 1 plus 1 gives 2, sodium chloride is table salt (sort of), Singapore became independent in 1965, that sort of thing.
It's so purely academic that it's scary. This is not the knowledge you need to have to survive in society. Sure, if you're an A*STAR scholar or whatever, being smart is good because you're among the top at the workplace. But how far does it really get you in life? Academic smarts definitely aren't everything. CY and I talked about this today. Our education system has produced good results, but the process simply sucks because of how rigid (and torturous) it is.
I'm sick and tired of a society that's so bent on qualifications. I'm tired of having to work so hard academically, only to throw it all away because, in the end, it's not needed. I guess I really want to make good my choices in university, really pursue my interests, and better understand everything around me.
31st March. Still waiting. Still dreading.
I'm hungry! But I successfully resisted the urge to snack the whole of today. :D I'm too paiseh to be eating at my cubicle at work.
It's a bit irritating having to get up so early everyday, but yesterday after buying my breakfast at JP, I walked over to Jurong Central Park to eat it, and actually, the morning scenery is rather nice. But I still prefer to be in bed in the mornings, being the insomniac I am.
I wonder if aromatherapy works. I need to find a better way to get to sleep other than take pills. The only way is to get myself really tired at work or exercise a lot in the day (which I now no longer have the time for).
Sigh. Right now I'm enjoying the remaining time I have before University starts and I need to study once again. This time round, I've made up to mind to really work hard for four years and not waste them, unlike the last six years of my education in secondary school and JC.
Honestly, JC was really quite a waste. But reality is harsh. Qualifications are everything. We're forced to do things we don't really like. I wish the world was a bit more flexible.
Currently awaiting 31st March with both dread and anticipation. I'm really hoping to get past the first round, although I won't be too surprised if I don't. Not sure how I'd react if I really didn't.
There's still a long way to go. I'll just have to keep going, because I can't turn back. I guess I'm not one to give up eaily. I mean, when you fall, you'd most likely pick yourself up, grit your teeth and move on, rather than lie there and suffer, isn't it?
And honestly, why is it that everyone at work thinks I'm a science student?! ): No offense to science students, of course. But I'm not science-y at all. D: Somehow all the database and engineering assembly stuff just makes sense to me. Guess my inner science student (the one that died in Secondary 4) isn't so dead after all - I mean, I actually enjoyed pure math in JC. And engineering is actually quite interesting (must be the influence of The Dreamcatchers). But too late now. I already made the change in J1. (Like what CY was saying, I totally chuck away everything I learn at the end of every stage of my education. Now I'm going to chuck away all my JC stuff.) But thankfully, I don't regret the decision I made back then. (: And I hope never to regret the choices I'm making right now.
After all, you can only be as happy as you want yourself to be. Even a wrong can eventually turn out to be a right.
It's a bit irritating having to get up so early everyday, but yesterday after buying my breakfast at JP, I walked over to Jurong Central Park to eat it, and actually, the morning scenery is rather nice. But I still prefer to be in bed in the mornings, being the insomniac I am.
I wonder if aromatherapy works. I need to find a better way to get to sleep other than take pills. The only way is to get myself really tired at work or exercise a lot in the day (which I now no longer have the time for).
Sigh. Right now I'm enjoying the remaining time I have before University starts and I need to study once again. This time round, I've made up to mind to really work hard for four years and not waste them, unlike the last six years of my education in secondary school and JC.
Honestly, JC was really quite a waste. But reality is harsh. Qualifications are everything. We're forced to do things we don't really like. I wish the world was a bit more flexible.
Currently awaiting 31st March with both dread and anticipation. I'm really hoping to get past the first round, although I won't be too surprised if I don't. Not sure how I'd react if I really didn't.
There's still a long way to go. I'll just have to keep going, because I can't turn back. I guess I'm not one to give up eaily. I mean, when you fall, you'd most likely pick yourself up, grit your teeth and move on, rather than lie there and suffer, isn't it?
And honestly, why is it that everyone at work thinks I'm a science student?! ): No offense to science students, of course. But I'm not science-y at all. D: Somehow all the database and engineering assembly stuff just makes sense to me. Guess my inner science student (the one that died in Secondary 4) isn't so dead after all - I mean, I actually enjoyed pure math in JC. And engineering is actually quite interesting (must be the influence of The Dreamcatchers). But too late now. I already made the change in J1. (Like what CY was saying, I totally chuck away everything I learn at the end of every stage of my education. Now I'm going to chuck away all my JC stuff.) But thankfully, I don't regret the decision I made back then. (: And I hope never to regret the choices I'm making right now.
After all, you can only be as happy as you want yourself to be. Even a wrong can eventually turn out to be a right.
I have been working for barely two weeks and already I'm exhausted. It's more tiring than school or even coursework. Maybe it's the long, long hours of staring at the computer, looking through endless streams of data. Now, I have newfound respect for the working population in general. Where do they get so much energy to work such long hours every day?
Or maybe it's just me. I've been an insomniac since a really long time ago, even before secondary school. I rarely get a good night's sleep without the use of sleep-inducing flu tablets and cough syrup. It's surprising I haven't yet damaged my liver judging from how often I take these to help me sleep, especially during exam periods. Every night, I wake up at least twice; and on the really bad nights, I can lie awake for three hours or wake up five times in the night. I sleep well only when the sun comes up. I should just do a night shift job after I graduate.
Stress is starting to make itself felt. University is looming clsoer, and I have no idea what to make of it. I dread studying, because I am hardly smart and just plain lazy. But I want a first-class honours. I want a scholarship. I want to be a top student so that companies will want me after I graduate. I want to be successful. I want to be a good person. The future is terribly uncertain, and I guess I'll just have to go along with whatever God has planned.
Sigh. I'm tired. But I still went ahead and stole a meme from![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
grandpagong anyway.
MY BOY SIDE
[x] You love hoodies.
[X] You love jeans.
[x] Dogs are better than cats.
[ ] Its hilarious when people get hurt.
[x] You've played with boys on a team. (LD counts too! :D)
[x] Shopping is torture. (YES. Unless they're for things I really need.)
[ ] Sad movies suck.
[ ] You own a XBOX.
[x] You played with Hot Wheels as a little kid.
[ ] At some point in your life you wanted to be a firefighter.
[ ] You own a DS PS2 or SEGA.
[x] You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers (I even had the activity book in which you learn numbes and stuff.)
[ ] You watch sports on TV.
[x] Gory movies are cool. (Not really cool, but I like them.)
[ ] Sometimes you go to your dad for advice.
[ ] You own like a trillion baseball hats.
[x] You used to/do collect Pokemon. (My favourite were the fire type. Like Charizard.)
[x] Baggy sweat pants are nice to wear.
[ ] Its kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
[x] Green, black, red, blue or silver are one of your favourite colours.
[x] Sports are fun.
[x] You sometimes talk with food in your mouth.
[ ] You sleep at night with your socks on.
[x] You have fished at least once.
TOTAL= 14
MY GIRL SIDE
[ ] You like to shop. (NO. Buying food is another matter, though. I like messenger bags too, but don't really LIKE shopping for them , y'know? Shopping and buying are different.)
[ ] You wear eyeliner. (Um, I have no idea what eyeliner is.)
[x] You wear the color pink. (I only have one pink shirt.)
[ ] Sometimes you go to your mum for advice. (I advise myself.)
[ ] You consider cheerleading a sport.
[ ] You hate wearing all black.
[ ] You like going to the mall. (Most of the time I end up in the library.)
[ ] You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
[ ] You like wearing jewelery.
[ ] You cried watching The Notebook.
[ ] Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe. (NONE. Hah. Except scool skirts.)
[ ] Shopping is one of your favourite hobbies.
[ ] You've seen Star Wars and don't like some of it.
[ ] You do/did gymnastics.
[ ] It takes you around one hour to shower and get dressed. (20 minutes or less, more like.)
[ ] You smile a lot more than you should.
[ ] You have more than 10 pairs of shoes. (THREE. Yay.)
[ ] You care about what you look like majority of the time.
[ ] You like wearing dresses whenever you can.
[ ] You like dancing/do dancing.
[ ] You like high heel shoes.
[ ] You used to play with dolls as a kid.
[ ] You like putting makeup on others.
[ ] You like being the star of almost everything.
[ ] Pink is one of your favourite colours.
TOTAL= 1 (HOW PATHETIC IS THIS?!)
Now multiply by 4 to get your percentage.
Boyish: 14 x 4 = 56%
Girlish: 1 x 4 = 4% (.......!!!)
If not for my one pink shirt, I WOULD BE 0% A GIRL. This is tragic.
No wonder when I was young, a lot of people called me 小弟弟.
Or maybe it's just me. I've been an insomniac since a really long time ago, even before secondary school. I rarely get a good night's sleep without the use of sleep-inducing flu tablets and cough syrup. It's surprising I haven't yet damaged my liver judging from how often I take these to help me sleep, especially during exam periods. Every night, I wake up at least twice; and on the really bad nights, I can lie awake for three hours or wake up five times in the night. I sleep well only when the sun comes up. I should just do a night shift job after I graduate.
Stress is starting to make itself felt. University is looming clsoer, and I have no idea what to make of it. I dread studying, because I am hardly smart and just plain lazy. But I want a first-class honours. I want a scholarship. I want to be a top student so that companies will want me after I graduate. I want to be successful. I want to be a good person. The future is terribly uncertain, and I guess I'll just have to go along with whatever God has planned.
Sigh. I'm tired. But I still went ahead and stole a meme from
grandpagong anyway.MY BOY SIDE
[x] You love hoodies.
[X] You love jeans.
[x] Dogs are better than cats.
[ ] Its hilarious when people get hurt.
[x] You've played with boys on a team. (LD counts too! :D)
[x] Shopping is torture. (YES. Unless they're for things I really need.)
[ ] Sad movies suck.
[ ] You own a XBOX.
[x] You played with Hot Wheels as a little kid.
[ ] At some point in your life you wanted to be a firefighter.
[ ] You own a DS PS2 or SEGA.
[x] You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers (I even had the activity book in which you learn numbes and stuff.)
[ ] You watch sports on TV.
[x] Gory movies are cool. (Not really cool, but I like them.)
[ ] Sometimes you go to your dad for advice.
[ ] You own like a trillion baseball hats.
[x] You used to/do collect Pokemon. (My favourite were the fire type. Like Charizard.)
[x] Baggy sweat pants are nice to wear.
[ ] Its kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
[x] Green, black, red, blue or silver are one of your favourite colours.
[x] Sports are fun.
[x] You sometimes talk with food in your mouth.
[ ] You sleep at night with your socks on.
[x] You have fished at least once.
TOTAL= 14
MY GIRL SIDE
[ ] You like to shop. (NO. Buying food is another matter, though. I like messenger bags too, but don't really LIKE shopping for them , y'know? Shopping and buying are different.)
[ ] You wear eyeliner. (Um, I have no idea what eyeliner is.)
[x] You wear the color pink. (I only have one pink shirt.)
[ ] Sometimes you go to your mum for advice. (I advise myself.)
[ ] You consider cheerleading a sport.
[ ] You hate wearing all black.
[ ] You like going to the mall. (Most of the time I end up in the library.)
[ ] You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
[ ] You like wearing jewelery.
[ ] You cried watching The Notebook.
[ ] Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe. (NONE. Hah. Except scool skirts.)
[ ] Shopping is one of your favourite hobbies.
[ ] You've seen Star Wars and don't like some of it.
[ ] You do/did gymnastics.
[ ] It takes you around one hour to shower and get dressed. (20 minutes or less, more like.)
[ ] You smile a lot more than you should.
[ ] You have more than 10 pairs of shoes. (THREE. Yay.)
[ ] You care about what you look like majority of the time.
[ ] You like wearing dresses whenever you can.
[ ] You like dancing/do dancing.
[ ] You like high heel shoes.
[ ] You used to play with dolls as a kid.
[ ] You like putting makeup on others.
[ ] You like being the star of almost everything.
[ ] Pink is one of your favourite colours.
TOTAL= 1 (HOW PATHETIC IS THIS?!)
Now multiply by 4 to get your percentage.
Boyish: 14 x 4 = 56%
Girlish: 1 x 4 = 4% (.......!!!)
If not for my one pink shirt, I WOULD BE 0% A GIRL. This is tragic.
No wonder when I was young, a lot of people called me 小弟弟.
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- Seeminabazzkalamogofa, but you may call me Smint.
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